The Date Before the Date
When you think about it, the conventional idea that the relationship of a date starts when you pick up your girl for that first night on the town is a bit flawed. If you have not started building the relationship and finding out important information about her before then, you have lost a lot of good opportunities.
Except for those rare dates that you meet the girl the night you pick her up, most of us date girls we more or less already know. And it is during that early flirtation that you can do some spying and find out if an actual date is possible and if it will be all you want it to be when you are alone together.
Whether she knows it or not, you start dating a girl even during the get acquainted phase. The only change in what happens during those critical days or weeks leading up to the date and the formal event is in how you handle them. But if within your mind the act of dating that girl of your dreams starts as soon as you determine that you want the date, you have hours of valuable time to get to know her and lay the groundwork, for what will become a wonderful romance once you actually ask her out and begin the time when you are "a couple."
Rarely do you date someone that is not already in a place that both of you already are comfortable. So most of us date girls from school, work or a social group where we have others who can introduce you and help you get to know the girl you have your eye on. Because this kind of setting is not always openly about dating, you can relax and become friends with the gal you are interested in and use that social time to do some important behind the scenes fact finding. Further you can use this time to build rapport so the grounds of a good first date are already in place before you ask her out.
This is the kind of setting where a casual conversation can allow you to ask some of those early questions that will be so important in making that decision on whether to even ask this girl on the first date. By getting some of that early "espionage" out of the way, you dramatically reduce the chance of having a "first date nightmare" that so many guys experience and never want to go through again. The truth is that other than a flat tire or someone getting sick or hurt, most first date disasters happen when something comes out in the relationship that dooms the chance of a romance. And the worst part is that if this happens early in the evening, the rest of the date can be tremendously awkward.
Square one of finding out more about this princess you want to take out is whether she in your league or even available. If you find out she is married or madly in love with the boss, you can shut down the flirtation train then and there. And although you might be disappointed, you can go home happy you didn't have to go through a rejection when she gave you that news after you put yourself "out there" by asking her for a date.
Because this time before you start the romantic wheels turning is casual, you can cleverly find out any problems that could hinder a future romance. Such things as religious differences, firmly held political views or conflicts of culture can be learned without pressure or hostility. But knowing these things well in advance can help you decide whether to even ask the girl out or it can help you design the first date to avoid problem activities.
Along with these other important areas of research your informal time with her can yield, there is this hard to pin down thing called "chemistry" that can make or break your romance with her. You can find out if you sense that attraction growing between you and if you both have enough in common for a strong launch of the relationship. And if you know before you pick her up for the first date that this relationship may be a keeper, that is going to make that first romantic night together even more fun and exciting.
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by: MarieWilson
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