5 Ways to Surrender Frustrations of Living with Invisible Illness
"You look great today. You must be feeling a whole lot better?" "You haven't really experienced chronic fatigue until you've had twins and worked full-time!" "I think it you sit around thinking about your pain too much. Just get out of that house more and it may just heal itself." "If you really wanted to get well, you'd get serious about taking that juice I recommended. I don't understand why you won't at least try it."
And the remarks go on. . . and on.
And our heart aches.
You may be surprised to hear that nearly 1 in 2 Americans has a chronic illness or physical condition that impacts their daily life. The range of diseases and included everything from migraines to diabetes, back pain to fibromyalgia, and arthritis to cancer. One of the largest emotional obstacles for people who suffer from illness is coping with the invisibility of the pain and feeling like no one understands what they deal with on a daily basis. And they are justified in these feelings, as about 96% of illness is invisible, meaning the person who suffers from the chronic condition show no outward signs of physical pain or disability. An assistive device is not needed like a walker or wheelchair. But the incredible pain one experiences each day can be disabling within the confines of the home.
If you have an invisible illness here are 5 ways to forgo some of the frustrations:
[1] Release people from the expectations you have of them. This will likely be a life-long process, but without taking this step, you will consistently find that people will always disappoint you. No one is perfect, even you! And it's vital to remember that those with illness do not understand the difficulties that our friends are going through, whether it's a divorce, the death of a loved one, a loss job, an ill child, etc. Your illness is incredibly significant in your life. And even though people do care, they still will have significant things going on in their own lives. Don't expect them to always be at your call.
[2] Find supportive, caring friends. If there is someone in your circle of friendships who is constantly belittling you or distrustful about your illness, this should be a relationship to end. If it's a relative, distance yourself as much as you can. Illness gives us an opportunity to help us prioritize our friendships. With limited energies we should surround ourselves with those who at least can give us the benefit of the doubt and acknowledge our illness exists.
[3] Find joy in your blessings. Rather than thinking about how badly you feel, find ways to bring more joy into your life. Appreciate the little things. Observe what you are doing when you have a burst of unexplained energy and realize that there lies your passion. Focus on bringing more of this into your life. You may not be able to garden like you once did, but you can grow a few potted flowers or hire a neighborhood teenager to plant some vegetables and set up an automatic sprinkler system for them. Or if you want to dream big, start a consulting business for want-to-be gardeners.
[4] Use your talents and skills for things you have a personal interest in. Don't allow yourself to feel like the skills you learned in a workplace are no longer valuable. Maybe you've always wanted to write children's books or be a business consultant. Plug in and do some volunteer or part-time work to continue to grow professionally and use your skills for project you feel passionate about. Rather than focusing on what others aren't doing to comfort you, follow your dreams and give that gift to yourself.
[5] Encourage someone else. You personally know how hard it is to live with illness and to feel like no one understands. So take time to be vulnerable with someone else who is going through this. Whether you meet someone through an online group such as National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week's message boards, or through your local support group, volunteer your time and expertise (yes, you're an expert on living with invisible illness!) and use it to make someone else's journey easier and you'll find your own is more enjoyable too. Are you frustrated that no one at your church thinks your invisible illness is real? Rather than stop going to church, find ways to educate them, such as a column in the church newsletter or brochures about National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week. These say what to say/not to say to a chronically ill person.
None of us can change another person or make someone care-but we can educate them and give gentle advice. We must also continue to work on ourselves. You'll find that even when you want to change it can be a real challenge, requiring discipline and motivation for a better life. You owe it to yourself to find joy despite your illness, and by focusing on how you can change your circumstances, instead of change other people, you'll be much more personally rewarded.
Article Source: http://www.search-raven.com
About the Author
Get a free download of 200 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend from "Beyond Casseroles" by Lisa Copen when you signup for HopeNotes invisible illness ezine at Rest Ministries. Lisa is the founder of Invisible Illness Awareness
This article is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution - No Derivative Works 3.0 Unported License, which means you may freely reprint it, in its entirety, provided you include the author's resource box along with LIVE links (without "nofollow" tags).
by: LisaCopen
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