Marriage: Staying Together In The 21st Century
The majority of married couples stayed married for many hundreds of centuries leading up to the 19th-century. Most married couples stayed together because that was either the thing to do or out of necessity or because that's all they knew. But of course not every marriage was a happy marriage.
The rate of divorce, now that we have reached the 21st century is approximately 50%. The reasons that people get a divorce are many and varied. It seems that those in the American culture are finding it easier and easier to get a divorce. Even though there can be many problems after as well.
Here's an interesting question - does anyone actually enter a marriage, thinking that they will end in divorce? There will always be challenges in a marriage relationship. There will always be things people can do to try and minimize problems. There will always be things people can do to try and head off divorce. Although divorce has been with us for hundreds of years, let's try and find a few ways to stay married.
When a couple is saying their vows on their wedding day. It's common to hear statements such as "till death do us part" or "in sickness and in health" meaning we are going to stay together. However, at the first sign of trouble, when things aren't going our way, when we say things like I'm falling out of love, we see couples separate and divorce. So what if the couple made a commitment at the beginning of their relationship, a commitment to stay together in their marriage. This means they will work on the marriage.
If you didn't make a commitment, and you find yourself in your marriage struggling, it's not too late to make a commitment like that. Say to each other, "I'm sorry, I've made mistakes, I care about you, I love you" and love means working this out. That's my commitment to you, and if each person makes that commitment, there is hope.
Perhaps the biggest question asked is how a couple will actually take action with their new commitment. There are some who will be able to do this by themselves, but most will need help. Some couples choose friends and family for this type of assistance, others look to their religion for help, others will look to counselors. The most important thing is to make a plan to something different than you did before, and take action.
Your new plan will take some time to get used to, to become a good habit. That's where you may need some help from a friend or family, from the outside. Or, it may be as simple as making Friday night or Saturday night a "date night." Be sure to say and do nice things for each other each day. Again, let this become a habit. It needs to be done regularly for a many weeks, doing something nice for your spouse, letting them know that you care.
This isn't always easy. This isn't a cure-all. This doesn't always work, but if you love each other and you want to make your marriage happier, do something for the other person. Make that other person happy with what you do, don't try and take from the relationship. Give to each other. If each person gives to the relationship, there's a chance for that relationship to heal and grow.
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by: MarriageSaver
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