Keep Infidelity From Ruining A Close Relationship
Not everyone is guilty of infidelity. Most probably are not. Yet the problem looms large in our society. We don't talk about it much and often act as if it didn't exist, but ignoring acts of infidelity will usually only make a bad situation worse. Infidelity can be a complex issue with many underlying causes. These causes need to be uncovered and addressed if a healing process is to occur.
Infidelity is divisive. Infidelity can hurt more than just the adulterer's spouse, but the couple's friends and family too. Children along with other family members, friends and acquaintances can be severely harmed by an act of infidelity. A child can carry the hurt and the guilt resulting from acts of infidelity by his/her parents for the rest of his or her life.
It's not just the betrayed spouse who is hurt. If you've been involved in an act of infidelity you may suffer as well. The act may well have been a wrong solution to a problem you have and don't even recognize. The problem not only remains but is now compounded by feelings of guilt or unhappiness. Movies often paint a deceptively romantic picture of infidelity. In the movies the person committing the act is often seen as the victim, his or her spouse the culprit. In real life, the opposite is just as likely to be true and the third party can be a chance acquaintance rather than the perfect lover portrayed in the movies.
Additionally, infidelity is not always the death knell in a relationship, despite people feeling it to be the ultimate act of betrayal. Infidelity is the equivalent in a relationship to a child acting out against their parents when something isn't to their liking. Often, infidelity can be used as a mechanism to fulfill some need that isn't being taken care of in the relationship. But this unconscious dissatisfaction can come from seeking through relationships, that which humans cannot truly provide for each other.
If you're in a relationship that is being hurt by infidelity the importance of seeking professional help cannot be overemphasized. People sometimes attempt to resolve an infidelity issue on there own. There's nothing wrong with that but it's not always the best approach. It can be much easier to discuss issues with a trained and sympathetic professional who knows what to ask and how to deal with the answers. A couple trying to resolve the issue on their own or with untrained help may not succeed in uncovering underlying issues or may introduce issues which only make resolution more difficult.
Just like recovery from an injury or a disease, recovery from a damaged relationship can require a structured program of therapy. The therapy may be as simple as repeated visits to a counselor or may be much more drastic. A trial separation might even be suggested in extreme cases. The professional therapist will likely try less extreme measures first considering separation as a last resort.
A couple will sometimes jump to the conclusion that separation is the only option and this can be permanently damaging. A close relationship is unlikely to be restored and if children are involved they will of course be hurt. You owe it to yourself and your partner to seek out professional help should infidelity rear its ugly head. You're unlikely to resolve the issue by yourself no matter how good your intentions. As indicated earlier, the underlying causes of infidelity can indeed be complex and can only be dealt with by a professional.
If you're the guilty party you may think at first that you've gotten away with something and you can continue to get away with it. This is a slippery slope and you are not only going to hurt your partner but are also in the process of hurting yourself. Your emotional state, even your mental health can suffer severely. The sooner you recognize this and reach for help the better. Help may come from your partner or a professional therapist, or maybe even both.
Article Source: http://www.search-raven.com
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Infidelity creates a pain like no other. At the Affair Recovery Center we know from experience. We can help you cope with infidelity. Don't suffer another day. Start healing from infidelity right now.
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by: AlexArcher
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